My Way

During the past year, I've been truly inspired by some amazing women, mostly from our homeschool group.  I want to preface that way because I'm going to confess that I need to part ways with some of their, um, ways.  See, they're just SO amazing--completely on a different level from myself--that though I would love to do what they do and allow my ideals and fanciful visions float me away into educational and family bliss, I'm just not there yet. 

There's a lot of talk about unschooling (or similar philosophies) and throwing caution to the wind and just going where your interests/your children's interests take you.  I think it actually takes a very responsible individual to be able to do that.  A person who is successful at that type of philosophy, in my opinion, is a person who has already learned good habits and doesn't need to focus on lower-level learning, like I do.  I'm more the type of mom who can't decide whether I want to wake up before my kids or not, so letting my kids follow interests based on my example sometimes is probably not a good idea.  My interests inevitably lead to a comfy couch and a book--not really the well-rounded approach.

 I realized that many of these moms who have a looser bent toward homeschooling have admitted to being quite the opposite in the beginning.  It makes me wonder if it's something necessary almost, like a step in progression.  As for myself, I have decided that I absolutely must do things my way this Fall.  It might look more scheduled and more like "school at home" than I prefer, but I need to build my foundation stronger before I will feel confident in a less stringent, more creative, more free atmosphere.  It's definitely what's best for my kids right now.  Trevor is especially a structure-loving boy, and I can almost feel the sigh of comfort coming from his soul when he feels the familiarity of "what comes next".  I think Abigail will be the same way...now what to do with our monkey in the middle...For now he's just content as long as he gets Mommy Conrad Time.  Today we made an art project together with shapes, glue, and stickers, and I couldn't be happier to see him having fun with it.

I'm drawing up some plans right now that include some goals for our 2013/2014 school year.  I'll include them when I'm finished, maybe in a few weeks.  It's going to be MY way; what's best for our family and everyone in it.

Cold Feet

Yikes! I think I'm getting cold feet.  One more month till Trevor starts "1st grade".  We never really stop homeschooling, so not much has changed this summer (besides the weather), but all my inadequacies and concerns are flooding back just as they did last year when my cold feet got so bad that I enrolled him in a charter school.  This decision is so hard! 

As I look at the reasons I'm so anxious about this fall, it's all about me!  My own fears over my personal weaknesses. 

Part of me is in "nesting" mode; getting ready for the school year by stocking supplies, researching curricula, organizing and reformatting our learning areas and storage.  The other part of me is screaming, "What are you thinking!" 

Have a little confidence, girl!  It's ridiculous that I should be so down on myself when my focus should be on my children and what's best for them.  When I get down on myself, it uninspires me (I think I made that word up...pretty sure you can't use that as a verb).  Really, though, what happens is the opposite of inspiration.  I become demotivated to keep going because I doubt my abilities and give up again and again.  I've got to stop that!  I've learned so much over the last year and I'm bound to continue learning, reshaping habits, reevaluating and overhauling. 

I often turn to homeschool blogs when I need a little encouragement.  One blog I read recently said that when you feel like I do right now, it's important to remember to take it one day at a time, and focus on just loving your child for that day.  Everything else falls into place when you're putting love of your child first.  I just need to be strong and do what I know is right, follow the promptings that come despite any self-doubt I may have. 

Not-End-of-Year Party

While schools were having their End-of-Year parties, our awesome homeschool group had a "Not-End-of-Year" Party.  Because homeschool goes on and on, and in a lot of families, there isn't a huge difference between summer and the rest of the year.

 

February through May Experiential Learning

February:
1. Sean took the kids to the Flour Mill Museum, took the train there
2. Sang at the nursing home twice
3. Conrad's music class at the library
4. Trevor's Polymer Chemistry at The Works Museum, made slime
5. Toured the Ice Castles with whole family
6. Trevor's Nature Center homeschool class
7. MOA amusement park with whole family
8. Trevor's Base Camp through BSA (archery, rock climbing, group games)
9. Homeschool play groups, book discussion
Also library visits, play practice, dance lessons each month

March:
1. Breakfast on the Lake with whole family
2. Nursing home visit and visited the Jones' to teach yogurt while kids played
3. Children's Theatre backstage tour
4. Trevor's nature center class, geology
5. Baptism (Mark)
6. Eileen Ivers Fiddle concert
7. Trevor's 6th birthday party
8. MN Mormon Chorale Easter concert
9. Whole family went to 3D movie

April:
1. 2 Baptisms (one was Markus)
2. Youth music night concert
3. Mille Lacs Indian Museum
4. Bowling as a whole family
5. Went to James Sewell ballet w/ whole family- Carnival of the Animals
6. Cleaned church
7. Trevor's nature center class- layers of the earth
8. Homeschool friends over to our house for set building
9. The Works Museum homeschool class- kaleidoscopes

May:
1. Pilobolus performance with the whole family
2. MN history museum
3. Painted sets for the play at friends' house
4. Children's Theatre live showing of the play Alice in Wonderland (whole family)
5. Trevor's homeschool nature center class
6. Trevor performed in the homeschool play, "Felicia and the Pot of Pinks"
7. Father and Sons Campout/ Girls Night with Laura and Abigail
8. Dance dress rehearsal and dance recital

There are always things I don't include because it feels weird putting things on the list like doctor's appointments or dinner guests or helping families move, but what we're going for is a wide range of experiences, not just field trips or passive audience events, so in my mind, those things really are on the list.  Throughout these months, we also had dance lessons, play practices, library visits, playgroups/playdates, and nature walks.  I learned a lot about trying to give my kids in-the-real-world experiences this year, and I'm excited to share, but I hear Abigail waking from her nap, so that will have to wait.  :)

Carrots

I am studying (I did say that deliberately rather than just "reading"--I need something more than a casual read in order to improve!) another parenting book that is opening my mind a lot.  I'll have to post more on it another time, but for now, I want to share this quote that I really do agree with and relates to education:

"One researcher, after spending more than fifteen years following the careers of high school valedictorians, concluded that most of them simply 'know how to do school. They are not the group to look for, for creative breakthroughs...or for becoming notable leaders in a particular area."

I'm definitely not saying they are all like this.  But the point the book is trying to make is that sadly, many of these students are just the ones who have fallen into the trap of "doing school" for the carrots, the rewards, and once they end up in the real world where the carrots are more intrinsic in nature, they fail.

Book Review

Homeschooling in America: Capturing and Assessing the Movement

I really enjoy reading research as long as it comes from a credible, uncorrupt, objective source.  I just like truth.  So this book was enjoyable for me for that reason.  There are tons of books that will slant either way, toward public school or (more likely) toward home education.  This one is basically just a comprehensive review of research, and answered some questions I've been curious about for some time. 

The first 2/3rds of the book was old news for me, having already read a lot of research online and in other books, but the last three chapters were definitely worth my time.  A few statistics I was interested to learn:

The average number of library visits per month for homeschool families is 3.8.

36.4% of homeschool families watch no television at home.  Wow!  I knew it would be high, but never would have guessed that high!

I've already mentioned this in previous posts, but homeschool kids overwhelmingly score higher academically than public schooled kids.  While I try not to focus on grades and scores, this is still a telling fact.  Sean and I both come from lower-income families and parents who were able to gain little or no college education, so even more interesting on a personal level is the fact that children from both low-income families and families with parents with lower levels of education do much better than children from similar families whose children go to public schools.  I also found it interesting that the race, income, parental education, and gender differences that sadly have a profoundly negative impact on achievement in public schools are muted or almost nonexistent with homeschooled children from the same backgrounds. 

More Insight on Chores

As you may know, we've been working on the basics this year for our family goals.  Those basics include teaching the gospel (i.e. scripture reading), family responsibilities, hygiene, and any other practical life skills that we consider essential. 

I've been trying to figure out a bit of a mystery in our house.  Trevor is really obedient when I ask him (and him alone) to do a chore, but if I ask both boys, Trevor will balk and drag his feet.  When I ask Conrad (whether alone or not) he complains and doesn't want to do what I've asked, which is why Trevor does the same thing when I ask them both at the same time to help.  Trevor sees Conrad acting that way and thinks that chores must be pretty awful and that he can get out of it if he does what Conrad does.

I thought back to what we did with Trevor, because Trevor really does obey when I only ask him.  I realized that we did several things different for him:

1. We didn't require him to do any chores start to finish on his own until he was about 5. 

2. We made chores into play for him and he was allowed to help with a few things and stop whenever he wanted.  It was never compulsory at that age.

3. We always did chores with Trevor before he was 5.  I really believe it's important for kids not to be commanded all the time.  They need to be shown and guided, not ordered around, especially when they're really young.  I don't like it when I hear moms say, "I don't know why they won't obey me!" Maybe it's the stubborn, willful, (and maybe sometimes disobedient) part of my personality, but why in the world should parents set themselves up as a dictatorial authority?  Most of the time, I do believe it's okay for my kids to question me, and I will answer their questions kindly (while still being firm if it's something I know I shouldn't move on). There's nothing wrong with a little dialogue about why they should be obedient to this or that rule.

So that brings me to my own problem: I don't know why they won't obey me!  Okay, so the previous thinking exercise helped me to see why Conrad is having a hard time obeying when it comes to chores.  He's too young!  He's just too young to be required to do chores.  Really, I already knew this, but I look at the boys play together and they seem so...equal.  Physically, they can do so many of the same things.  Conrad is witty and wily.  And so I've felt unfair when I've required something of Trevor that Conrad doesn't also have to do.  Conrad is only 3 and Trevor is 6!  Of course I shouldn't expect the same things from them yet.  Sheesh, mom, get a clue!

So I've been trying to not feel guilty when I require Trevor to do something and not Conrad.  I'm also trying to make work fun for Conrad and not be too strict with making him finish a job he starts.  He still needs a lot of help with things over his abilities.  I feel more relaxed already!