Homeschooling: Allow Me to Remove the Wool From Your Eyes

I would like to officially apologize to anyone I've tricked into thinking we're "that" homeschool family. You know, the family that is amazing at everything, including perfect parents, immaculate home, flawless children. I must be really good at making my family sound awesome. Or, some friends are really good at making me feel good.  I'm almost sure it's the former.

I confess, I beam a bit hearing our 5-year old recite for others the (one--ahem) poem that he knows or watching him pull out his body model to teach our 3-year old about the organs, just for fun. When Trevor declares that every evening in our home should be for reading books. And when they beg to do "homework"--ahh! sweetness!

Well, so we are awesome. But I'm biased. I happen to adore my husband and kids. The neutral observer would probably find themselves saying, "What's so awesome about this family? They're nothing special, just weird."

What's this all about? Recently I've had too many people giving me compliments about our homeschooling efforts. While I graciously accept the compliments, I also wonder if I've somehow forgotten to leave out all the bad parts and give a truthful, realistic view of homeschooling in general, and what it is in our home.

Enough is enough. First of all, I am one of those people who really can't handle focusing on the negative too much, so I tend to only replay positive experiences from our home to others. So when I list a million fantastic field trips and experiences from our homeschool, you're not getting the whole picture.

I once read from a veteran homeschool mom, that in a typical homeschool, you have to count it a success if one out of ten days is one you consider a "good" day. I've tried to keep that in mind on the nine bad days. When we're not dressed until 10 AM. When Abigail has been awake all night and the next day comprises slobbing on the couch in my "comfies" reading picture books all morning until I tell the boys I'm too tired to do real lessons and they can just turn on the keyboard and dance for the next hour. Or when it just seems like we're not learning much of anything and I worry that they'll fall behind.

I have to reroute you to one of my favorite sites out there for homeschooling, The Well-Trained Mind. It was created by one of my favorite homeschool authors, Susan Wise Bauer, and the page I linked you to is all about typical homeschool days in different families. Very eye-opening! Especially the one about homeschooling with young children, a toddler, and a newborn.

Now, I must go on a tangent for any nay-sayers who choose not to homeschool because they don't think they have it in them, or who perhaps after reading the links, tilt their noses to the sky. Out of the many homeschool moms I've met, no two moms do homeschooling the same way. Look at it this way: put overly simply, public school is ONE way to educate children, and homeschooling has as many ways as there are families. As a homeschool mom, I've learned rather quickly not to judge how other families choose to educate their children, that what is truly important and underlies most homeschooling philosophies is the LOVE these parents have for their children. And I don't judge anyone for putting their kids in public school, either. Just FYI, though, for anyone curious, go to this site and read the stats on homeschooling vs. public schooling.

During the first day of public school in our area, I got together with a bunch of other moms (public school moms) for a playgroup, and of course, they ended up asking me about homeschooling. You get a lot of attention when you're doing something different than everyone else. I was feeling nervous, anticipating the questions that undoubtedly would come, and also a little defensive because I knew there were a few in the company who had privately and publicly criticized homeschooling. I ended up saying something I regret, after a few moms said something like, "How do you do it? It sounds so hard! I could never do that!" I said, "Well, I think it takes a certain type of person to homeschool." Not true! I wanted to elaborate and tell them what I meant was that any mom (or dad) can become that person through diligence and love, that it's an individual process, and that I admired all the moms who came before me who blazed a path for me to follow, but I immediately realized how arrogant my original words sounded and I choked. Sigh...Opportunity lost.

Let me just say, for the record: I am not extraordinary, my kids are average, it's not that hard to homeschool once you get used to it (the process of which is really mostly just getting over a lot of perceived barriers). You don't need a teaching degree, you just need to love your kids. And have a desire to nurture them all day long, whatever that means for your family.

So please! Enough with the compliments and making me blush! Well, okay, I really like the compliments, but I just want people to know I'm not special or any better than you. I don't love my kids more than you love yours. Our homeschool looks different from day-to-day, and I expect it to change continually, waxing and waning with the phases our family goes through.

Recently another homeschool mom was being complimented on all the amazing "extracurricular" things she was doing with her kids and was asked how she could possibly do it all. She humbly and truthfully answered that her youngest happened to be at a good age and that she happened to have the energy at the time, and that she reserved the right--as matriarch of the family--to stop any and all activities that became excessive to their family. Her words rang familiar to me, especially after reflecting on Abigail's newborn phase at the beginning of 2012. I realized then that there are times and seasons for everything, and certain activities would have to wait.

Another comfort that has helped is an essay that I like to go back to from time to time: The Baby Is the Lesson. That's for the people who wonder, as I did, how in the world to do homeschool when family life doesn't just stand still while little Johnny attentively receives his Latin lesson.